


Would all the stars be shining

by sugarboat



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8642749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarboat/pseuds/sugarboat
Summary: Presented with a choice - her or Dipper, him or Mabel - Mabel makes the only offer she has left.





	

If there was a time that her life should be flashing before her eyes, it had to be right now.

“EENIE!”

Struggling desperately to break free in Bill’s stupidly giant hand, black fingers wrapped tight around her midsection, and his words ringing in her ears like the most high-pitched, annoying alarm. _I THINK I’M GONNA KILL ONE OF THEM._ One of us, Mabel thought, one of us. Even through his squirming, she could feel Dipper trembling – a sure sign things were not good. 

“MEENIE!”

That red light bathed them again and they whipped around, movements in tandem. They should always be, they were twins, but that wasn’t how it had been going, was it? Bill’s eye was a shooting star. And Mabel had been so wrapped up in herself, too focused on parties and birthdays and summer to even notice-

 _What, that wacky triangle guy?_ She had laughed off Dipper’s paranoia. Bill had almost driven a wedge between them, but it was only because she’d opened the crack in the first place. _I promise, I’ll help you after-_

And she had been so hurt, so _hurt_ that Dipper would consider leaving her. So scared, that Dipper would think of her like- like- _suffocating_. That she was holding Dipper back. That she wasn’t like him, like _them._ She wasn’t smart, she wasn’t nerdy, she was just-

_Mabel, be serious!_

“MINEE!”

Bill’s eye flashed into a Christmas tree. No, a Pine Tree. His other hand was held aloft, fingers bent and poised to snap. And she had watched him come out, watched the world rip itself open like large fingers had been lurking behind the sky the whole time, had just been waiting for a moment to tear their reality to shreds. She hadn’t even cared, then. She had gotten her summer, after all.

Mabel hadn’t told them, but time went differently in Mabel-land. It hadn’t all burst into being at once, she had worked hard on it. As carefully planned as she could make it, with only one rule – no triangles. Well, and no bummers. So maybe two rules. And it had been nice, so nice. She had a brother who loved her, who wouldn’t leave her. A world that wouldn’t disappoint her. A bubble where Bills and (Fords) and monsters didn’t exist. 

She had almost forgotten. No, she had forgotten. When she awoke to a wasteland, she remembered she had caused it. That first step out into the real world again had been the worst. A lump in her throat. Her chest tight and constricted, feeling like something was trying to claw its way out of her. _I did this. They know. I did this._ She couldn’t get the words out, she couldn’t even own up to it, apologize for it, do anything about it.

And they didn’t bring it up. Dipper and Wendy and Soos, they didn’t say a word. Dipper had just reached out and squeezed her hand, and offered her one of those patented Dipper Reassurance Smiles. No one speculated on how Bill got the rift from her – or from anyone. The town that had become her second home, where she had found her people, laid in ruin and even if she hadn’t been the one stomping around all giant-sized and smashing up the buildings, well, none of it would have happened if it weren’t for her.

It was gross how easy it was to push away. Forget about. Deny, even to herself. There was so much work to be done, so many sweaters to be made. If anyone noticed she wasn’t herself – no one was themselves. Everyone had better things to worry about. She tried not to wince every time she caught sight of a snow globe. She would wind bandages around people’s and creatures’ limbs, her hands trembling, biting her tongue so she wouldn’t just shout out _I did this to you_.

Whenever she was alone, her mind would wander to it, running over it like a sore or a missing tongue. Mabel would imagine herself telling them. Dipper. _What, Mabel, how could you do this?! What were you thinking?!_ Grunkle Stan. _Whoa, kid, you_ really _messed this one up, big time._ Grunkle Ford. _I’m so disappointed in you, Mabel. After all my warnings – I_ told _you Bill was dangerous, but you didn’t listen. Dipper will be better off without you._ Even Wendy. _Wow, not cool, Mabel; not cool._

This was all her fault. And she couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand it anymore. She suddenly couldn’t breathe, even though Bill’s fist around her hadn’t moved an inch. Her chest wouldn’t expand, she couldn’t get enough air. It was too much. 

She had messed up. No, she had _fucked_ up, that word that Grunkle Stan only used when he thought they weren’t around. That word that Wendy and her friends would say so forcefully, like they were proving something with it. She had made a mistake, and there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t fix. No one could fix it. It was unfixable. It was permanent and awful and it sat on her like an elephant, like an anvil, like an anchor.

This was all her fault. And what was she supposed to do about it? Just live with it? Just keep going, knowing every second of every minute of every hour of every day of month of year that she had hurt all her friends. Her family. Her brother. Dipper. Dip-dop, Dipping Sauce.

“YOU-”

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!” Mabel stretched out the ‘o’ as long as she could, which was shorter than usual. Bill looked startled, at least, and clamped his free hand against one of his sloping sides, like he was trying to cover an ear.

“OH WHAT NOW, SHOOTING STAR? _YOU_ WANNA MAKE ANOTHER DEAL? BAD DECISIONS REALLY HAVE DEEP ROOTS IN ALL YOU PINES! GET IT?” Bill laughed, loud and obnoxious, and Mabel felt her stomach drop. It felt like she had swallowed ice. Or lead.

“Wha- Mabel, what does he mean? Another deal?” Dipper was looking at her now, and he looked so scared. She couldn’t stand it.

“I _do_ wanna make a deal, Bill!” Bill’s eye constricted and blackened, back into its normal slit.

“IS THAT SO?”

“Mabel, don’t-”

“SORRY KID, BUT I’M NOT INTERESTED! YOU HAVEN’T GOT ANYTHING THAT I WANT ANYMORE!” 

“Oh yeah? Well I can think of one thing!” She tried not to notice the way her voice wavered, the way it was thick with tears that were threatening to spill. 

“AND WHAT’S THAT? IF YOU THINK YOU CAN **TRICK** ME AGAIN, YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!”

“No tricks, Bill, I just-” She couldn’t say it. Bill’s eye narrowed and he pulled them closer, and Dipper was still trembling next to her. Those dark fingers wrapped around the both of them flexed, almost bruising, shoving them closer together. “Choose me!”

A chorus of dissent followed her proclamation.

“Mabel, no!”

“Don’t do it!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“ **QUIET!** ” The entire world seemed to shake with the force of Bill’s voice. His eye was still narrowed, and Mabel could feel herself shivering now too. Then, he relaxed, eye curving upwards. “YOU KNOW, THIS FEELS MORE LIKE A FAVOR THAN A DEAL, BUT WHAT THE HECK!” Something weird happened with the flesh of his hand, and Dipper was suddenly dropping through it like it was made of jelly.

“Mabel!” Dipper reached out for her as he fell, but Bill just held her tighter.

“I’m sorry, bro-bro.” The tears that had been burning at the back of her eyes finally dropped, splattering on the smooth surface of Bill’s finger. She used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her face.

“AND HEY, SINCE I’M FEELING SO **GENEROUS** , I’LL GO AHEAD AND DO YOU ANOTHER ONE TOO!” Down far below her, glowing red energy like vines snapped around Dipper and flung him into the cage beside his uncles. Stan rushed to his side, saying something she couldn’t hear from here, over the rushing sound of blood in her ears. As if he knew her thoughts, Bill stretched his arm out, holding her capture just in front of the cage. “WHY DON’T YOU GO AHEAD AND TELL THEM **WHY** YOU’RE SO EXCITED TO BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF ‘MARTYRED VICTIM’ TODAY!”

“Bill, stop this at once!” Grunkle Stan said and, wow, that seemed a little uncharacteristic. 

“GO ON, SHOOTING STAR! I KNOW YOU’RE DYIING TO TELL THEM! SPILL THE BEANS!” 

“You shut your trap, you pointy piece of-”

“No!” Mabel said suddenly. She had been biting her lip, staring down at the pulsating floor of the fearamid, but now she looked up, her gaze jumping from Stan to Ford and resting on Dipper. “I… I do have something to tell you guys.” 

“Mabel, sweety, you don’t have to-”

“I do, though! Just- let me, you have to let me, I can’t- I can’t-” That weird weight was on her chest again, keeping her lungs from expanding fully, shortening her breaths to quick pants.

“Mabel,” her brother’s voice pierced through her and she almost flinched. “Go on. We’re- we’re listening, Mabel.” His hands were wrapped around the bars and he was staring at her.

“It… it was me,” she said. It came out in a whisper and she cleared her throat, having to try again. “It was me! I did it!”

Dipper was still staring at her and her Grunkles shared a glance between themselves, the same kind of looks that she and Dipper used to share.

“Mabel, you did what?” Grunkle Stan cautiously asked, and Grunkle Stan was never cautious, never, never. A wracking sob escaped her, fat tears spilling down her face that tasted salty when they ran over her lips.

“All of it, all of- of _this_!” And then she just cried, hiccupping. “ _I_ was the one who gave Blendin, who gave _Bill_ the rift!” She couldn’t bear to look at her family anymore. “I let him break it! I let him in! And then, and then I just- I ran away!” 

Sometimes, when she was only sorta sad, staring out windows after breakups, she would pretend she was in some super-depressing music video. Grey sky outside, raindrops on the glass reflecting the tears that rolled prettily down her face. This sobbing wasn’t pretty. It was heaving and wet, she could tell snot was running out her nose but all she could do was sniffle noisily and keep crying. She buried her face in her hands, letting her sleeves swallow her palms so the soft fabric could soak up her tears.

“I’m so sorry,” she wailed through her hands. “I’m so- I’m _sorry_!” 

“OKAY, THIS IS STARTING TO GET NAUSEATING!” Bill pulled her away again and she could practically feel the weight of his gaze on her. “OH, AND JUST AS A LITTLE **SECRET** BETWEEN FRIENDS!” Mabel dragged her hands away, looking up at Bill’s giant, bulbous eye. He looked so pleased with himself. “I WAS GONNA CHOOSE YOU EITHER WAY, SHOOTING STAR!”

His other hand was back up in its position, just one short movement away from a snap, and-

“W-Wait!” Grunkle Ford. Mabel’s eyes widened. “I surrender!”

And Bill dropped her. Just like that.

“GOOD CHOICE!”


End file.
